


Is that an avocado?

by Dumbass_T



Series: Avocados are horrible, I hate avocados [1]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Also know as Steve the exhausting boyfriend, Anal Play, Anal Sex, BAMF Bucky Barnes, BAMF Peter Parker, BAMF Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes is done with your bullshit Steve, Communication is the key to happiness Steve Rogers so get your shit together and TALK, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Evil Steve Rogers, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I Tried, I am determined to make myself cry while writing this so get ready y'all, I hate tagging why is it so hard, I have things to do but I'm doing this instead, I need some Vodka and Tequila, I will try to be funny do not hesitate to tell me if I am not being funny, M/M, Multi, No one messes with my baby Tony Stark, Oh my god so much angst, Other, Slow Burn, Steve the stubborn mule, This is about be a shitshow, procrastination
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:07:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22325308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dumbass_T/pseuds/Dumbass_T
Summary: Tony Stark is done, fuck Steve Rogers and his stupidly perfect face.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Avocados are horrible, I hate avocados [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606957
Kudos: 28





	Is that an avocado?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mandarou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandarou/gifts).



> This is practice, I had a plot bunny inspired by my #1 favorite fic, Dishonor on your cow by mandarou, so y'all should definitely check them out.  
> Also, don't be afraid to yell at me for any mistakes I make.

Tony glared at Steve Rogers stupidly perfect face. 

Steve glared back, doing his best Captain America is disappointed in you face. The metal table protested against his harsh grip, grooves starting to form where he dug his finger's in.

"You two need to stop" Natasha cut in, with a glare that could make lesser men kneel before her, hands on her hips, suspiciously close to her stun batons.

"It's his fault" Tony snapped immediately, like the mature adult that he was. Roger's self righteous ass was getting on his goddamned nerves.

"Your recklessness is what caused this" Steve snapped back, irritation clear in his tone. He looked seconds away from standing again, and trying to reach over to choke Tony.

Right everything was his goddamned fault, Tony thought petulantly, coldly glaring at Rogers.

Just as Tony was about to start shouting at the stubborn asshole again, Natasha stood up from her seat, powering up one of her stun batons threateningly, she was not about to go through another half hour of shouting.

Natasha's eardrums _ached_. God give her patience, she was about to murder someone. She cared for her teammates, a lot, but sometimes they just needed a good whopping to set them straight.

"Y'all really need to stop fighting, and instead trying to work out what to do with the ominously glowing cube thing" Sam huffed tiredly, massaging his temples to try and abate his headache. Being the peace maker was exhausting, he hadn't signed up for this bullshit. Sam blamed Steve for all this.

Tony sighed, his anger flowing out of him and flopped onto his chair, he was too exhausted to continue arguing with Rogers, and as much as he hated to admit it, the ass was right.

The mission had been going fine, secure another Hydra base, destroy it, blah blah, right up until he noticed some very intriguing energy readings, pointed out to him by Jarvis.

So his scientific sexy ass just had to go and see what that was about. Tony had just meant to take a peek, but that peek had been the cause of the mission going to shit.

Blaring alarms flashed in his mindseye.

Now the Avengers were in possession of one creepily glowing violet cube, that pulsed ominously every now and then.

It kinda reminded him of the Tesseract, except, it glowed violet and had dark purple swirls on its sides. Most likely why Clint was currently perched in the vents right now.

As soon as the archer had seen the cube he had vehemently said 'Nope' and swiftly dissapeared into the vents. 

Honestly, Tony wished he could dissapear right about this second, he felt a glare being burned into his forehead, he didn't even have to open his eyes to know who's glare it was.

"We could put it in the Vault" Bucky suggested, eyeing the dents Steve made into the metal conference table, deceptively lounging in his chair, idly toying with one of his knife holsters strapped to his thighs.

"We already tried that, next morning we found it on the kitchen counter" Sam sighed, shrugging helplessly.

Bucky hadn't been there for the mission, he had been busy getting used to the new and improved metal arm Tony had made for him.

He was proud of that new arm. Only the best for his team, Tony couldn't help but think fondly.

Even for that blonde asshole in front of him.

"We could throw it in the middle of the Antarctic sea, no one would find it there" Tony suggested, rubbing at his face tiredly, he needed sleep, he'd only gotten less than 5 hours of sleep this whole week.

Pepper would gut him if she found out he wasn't being a responsible adult and taking care of himself, Peter would be disappointed in him.

The image of Pepper's and Peter's disappointed faces filled his mind, making him feel immensely guilty on top of the exhuastion and irritation. He felt like an overgrown toddler that needed nap time.

Hell, Tony was this close to bursting into tears like a toddler if they didn't figure this shit out. He cursed his curiosity. Well they did always say curiosity killed the cat.

 _But satisfaction brought it back_ , a traitorous voice whispered.

If he had just listened to Rogers and regrouped with the others, if he had just waited for the others to catch up with him this wouldn't be happening right now.

Toddler really seemed to fit the description of his self control.

"Tony-" Natasha's voice cut into his musing. 

"Huh, Sorry about that, Nat, you were saying?" Tony said aplogetically, trying to turn his full attention to his favorite red head.

"We already tried that, it showed up again a day later" Natasha said slowly, her arms crossed no longer toying with the handles of her stun batons.

"Oh" was Tony's oh so eloquent response to that, sue him, he was _exhausted,_ he did not have the brain power for witty remarks right now.

Tony quirked an eyebrow when everyone only stared at him worriedly, even Rogers stared at him concernedly.

"What?" Tony sighed, absolutely done with everything.

"I think we should go and rest for a little, ya know relax, and come back with a clear head to make a decision" Bruce finally spoke from where he had been silently observing everything. He had not been on that mission as well.

"Seconded" Sam immediately cut in, standing up from his seat.

"Thirded" Clint piped up from the the vents.

"Yeah, good idea Bruce" Bucky nodded at the man. 

Rogers stayed silent but stood from his seat and headed towards the exit.

"We'll contact Thor to see if he knows anything" He said curtly, just as he exited.

Tony only nodded before staggering up from his seat, a sudden bout of dizziness almost making him fall over but strong hands quickly caught him.

"You okay Tones?" Buck's voice asked worriedly, he sounded a little to echoey and far away.

Ah, the skipped meals were finally catching up to him, was Tony's final thought before he fainted.

Curse sentient glowy clingy cubes.


End file.
